I tried to make this blog a place for serious posts about writing and methods and everything important sounding. i wanted to talk about my time in academia and how similar it is to writing fiction (and how very, very not similar it is). there are approximately eighteen unpublished posts about those very topics in my queue.  they will probably never be posted. i’d apologize, but I haven’t even bothered to be consistent with my capitalization and i’ve already posted about dog farts and googling trauma 

I wish I could say this was an exaggeration, but anyone who reads my twitter (not so subtle hint to totally read my twitter) will know that someday, someone (probably my husband) is going to come to my home, find me dead in my office with no obvious wounds or trauma. they will  wonder what the hell happened as there is no reason a healthy, reclusive woman in her 30’s is just dead.  the answer is easy. death by dog farts. don’t think that’s possible? I used to be a biologist so I’m totally right.  my dog will have killed me with his toxic butt gasses.  please don’t put that…

everything will end in death (yours or the fetus) everything will end in disability, disfigurement, and piles of medical debt this has happened to a lot of expectant mothers, in fact Dana from Texas had that thing happen to her three times. for gods sake why are you eating that put it down now stop gaining weight why aren’t you gaining weight you’re sleeping too much but also too little YOU PET A DOG JEEBUS H WILIKINS DO YOU WANT TO GET RABIES every symptom you listed is perfectly normal in pregnancy but they are all also signs of death and despair but you can’t tell until too late SO…

Sept 4, 2018 Writers seem to be in two camps about their hot beverages: either they need coffee or they love their tea. I am firmly in the latter camp. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an occasional cup of coffee, as along as it’s drowning in milk and syrup and in no way actually resembles coffee. To be honest, I don’t care what other people drink, I just enjoy sharing warm beverages with other people. So, I’d like to take the time to welcome everyone to my site and to tell you to pull up your favorite drink. I’m going to pretend we’re old friends from now on. I…