everything will end in death (yours or the fetus)
everything will end in disability, disfigurement, and piles of medical debt
this has happened to a lot of expectant mothers, in fact Dana from Texas had that thing happen to her three times.
for gods sake why are you eating that
put it down
now
stop gaining weight
why aren’t you gaining weight
you’re sleeping too much but also too little
YOU PET A DOG JEEBUS H WILIKINS DO YOU WANT TO GET RABIES
every symptom you listed is perfectly normal in pregnancy
but they are all also signs of death and despair
but you can’t tell until too late SO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
seriously? you’re drinking water? has it been purified by fairies, blessed by monks, and stirred counterclockwise six times by a unicorn’s horn? NO?! THEN DON’T TOUCH
fine you drank it. enjoy your new bacterial infection that causes your baby to sprout hemorrhoids before their blood vessels are even formed.